According to psychologist Dr Brian Mitchell “If any situation in our daily lives requires negotiation skills it’s tension between partners. Dramas can’t just be dodged. They’re inevitable in any relationship – part of the price we pay for love. Ignored or handled badly they’ll damage or destroy a relationship.”
Another surprising finding from the survey was the stark difference between women and men in the way they viewed “fairness”. Only 25% of the females interviewed believed that relationship problems are likely to be resolved fairly – compared to nearly 70% of men. The doubts women feel when forced to confront dramas is consistent with the lack of confidence in their negotiation skills in these situations.
A further outcome – 75% of the women viewed “kissing and making up” as the most common response to disputes in relationships. Only 1 in 4 felt that couples would normally persevere to resolve their differences.
According to Dr Mitchell “Couples who don’t face dramas head on, negotiating their different interests, are damaging their relationship. They’re also missing an opportunity to strengthen it. Tension between couples is not something to be feared. Handled well, it’s the best opportunity two people have to bolster trust – the cornerstone of any relationship.”
(*Men and women – mid-twenties to mid-forties – working in the Sydney CBD.)